when the lights gone
March 16, 2012, 9:19 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

it is night now and the lights have gone out. the candle wick sends flames to lick my forehead with their heat as i write these words, bent towards the light. i wish it were more romantic than it is; not that the scene lacks any sort of charm. the image i hold of myself in this moment in precious: native diamond hoodie lined in fur, teal blanket pants, no shoes but wrapped in scarf, all laid out upon the living room floor with a candle as my companion. a part of me wishes it were the result of a carefully planned evening replete with red wine, joined by maria and laughter. that this flame flicked atop an elegant stick designed to kaleidoscope the light, rather than running its wax down itself onto this flyer for a dramatic mexican musical whose debut came, and went, unnoticed. perhaps, even, that there were faces other than mine reflected back against the Bay waiting outside these bay windows, with cheekbones poised for holding all the love they are given. the truth is that i am alone; no wine, no weed and no company. and i am content. to not be in control of the light of the room; they are out. and so are all the other lights in the house, on the street and through the neighborhood, as far as i know, but not down in the city. the grid remains as uncaring of these heights as the heights tend to be of it. there is no moon for me tonight, and no stars, only the light of a candle and an image reflecting, and i remember. i am not afraid of the dark.


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